Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something that we all desire. We all wrong other people, and they, in turn wrong us. We tell our kids to “forgive and forget”, but is that really Biblical? I can find many places where we are called to forgive, but I can’t find anywhere in scripture where we are to forget. We are actually commanded to forgive one another in verses like Matthew 6:14 - “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”, and Ephesians 4:32 – “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Ultimately, forgiveness is a decision of our will. Since God commands me to do it, I have to do it, even if I don’t especially feel like doing it at the time. Those that have offended us may not ever seek reconciliation, and may not ever change. Still, that command is there. It’s disheartening, I know. I really, really, do. I know some folks are going to pull up a few verses, and tell me that God forgives our sins as far as the East is from the West, and that our sins are like cast into the deepest part of the sea, which is the Mariana Trench, off the coast of Guam, by the way. It’s 6.85 miles deep below the sea level at the deepest part. The government has actually considered dumping nuclear waste there, since it’s a subduction zone, and it will be destroyed in the process and get turned into lava, which would be a cool analogue, but that’s banned by UN Treaty.

OK, so you’re telling me that the omnipotent God of the universe hits the delete key whenever I sin and get forgiveness? Or is it more like a SQL query – DELETE FROM “Jeff’s Life” WHERE Action=”sin” in DB “humanity”? That is hard for me as an educated person to swallow. I think God doesn’t magically delete it. It is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us. We cannot selectively delete events from our memory. I wish that I could, people have struggled with this for ages. John F. Kennedy once said “Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.” I think that God created us in His image, and if He didn’t build in a “delete” key for all the hurts that need forgiving, then He likely doesn’t have one either. God gave me a brain with memories, and I don’t have a built-in delimiter to separate the good events from the horrible ones. So, do I think that God remembers our sins? Yes. Think of the theological consequences if He didn’t… What would be in the Book that is brought out at the throne of judgment in Revelation if our sins got deleted? Does God have an angel that doesn’t forget? If He really forgets, is that why He writes it down like a grocery list in the Book? Is that really forgetting if it’s written down? Those are the questions that spring from my mind at first pass at that notion.

As human beings, we tend to minimize our own errors and maximize others. We like to rally others to our cause, and turn others against the person who has wronged us. We want to keep the offender roasting a while in the fires of our anger and indignation. As Christians, we are instructed and I’ll even venture to say programmed to never refuse forgiveness, but we sure don’t mind making the offender uncomfortable first. Is that right? Is that biblical? No. Is it human, most certainly. One of the most helpful things I ever heard in this regard is to tell “the story” from the other person’s perspective. Actually imagine that you are the other person and use the word “I” when saying what that person would say. You, most likely don’t know all the events involved and don’t know exactly what they were thinking at the time, but it is important for you to try.

So, here we are again – what’s the point, Jeff? We are commanded to forgive. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It means being vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future. I think it isn’t possible for us to forget. That’s what tortures us. It’s one of the “crosses we bear” as we trudge through this life. I’m going to keep on trudging.

A ball or chicken? You decide.

A think lot of people that I know treat ministry like a ball. I don't think they consciously do this, but this data I have gathered from years of observation. Most of the time, people get a calling from God, and they go off in an attempt to satisfy the calling by taking their shiny new ball, and finding a few other people to bounce it with. They find safe, people that they know, and bounce it and roll it around with them at first. This is normal and natural. Then, a little later, they get better and more sophisticated with the games that they can play. Maybe now they're playing dodge ball, instead of sit around in a circle and roll it back and forth. That's pretty good. Later on though, maybe someone else on the playground, maybe someone that they don't know very well wants to play. Well, we don't know that guy, and mayble he'll steal the ball - so let's not let him play. Makes the other guy feel bad, and the guy with the ball look selfish. Maybe a little later, someone wants to play kickball. Now, the ball owner is unsure, because not only does he not really know all the rules for kickball, he doesn't know if kickball might damage his ball in some way. At best, he takes his ball back over to a small corner of the playground and bounces and rolls it with his friends, when the most poeple would have gotten joy and happiness out of playing kickball. At worst, he takes his ball and goes home - depriving everybody of the fun.

I have begun to think that ministry is more like a huge pizza or a bucket of chicken. It's meant to be shared and distributed. If we're using a ball analogy - everybody needs a ball. Then everybody can share and play with the ball as they see fit. One of the things that I have had rattling around in my head the past few weeks is a quote from John Wimber, the founder of the Vineyard Movement on ministry. And while I may or may not agree on everything John did in his life, I think he was powerfully used by God. The quote is simply this - "everybody plays". Ministry is not an exclusive club. Jesus, in His ministry here on earth chose even Judas Iscariot - whom He foreknew (there's a word I seldom use) would betray Him. He chose fishermen, a tax collector, a terrorist (see Zealot), and even a murderous Pharisee (see Saul of Tarsus). I have heard all the arguments on only letting certain people in your "inner circle", and the wolves among the sheep, and we all agree that stuff like that happens, but as Solomon says - "There is nothing new under the sun. Paul in his ministry apparently had a lot of problems with a guy named Alexander, who did a lot of harm to his ball. But, apparently Paul did share it with him.

So, my question is - do we really believe in the concept of "the priesthood of the believer"? Or have we, over the past two thousand years built walls between the "clergy" and the "laity" that were never designed to be there in the first place? How does a guy in the pew break through the glass ceiling that exists in so many churches to move from being a spectator to having a ball? Well, you could spend a whole lot of time in school, surrounded mainly by people who know a lot about balls and different ball games, but many times, have never taken their ball into the playground. Or, you can go renegade, and take your ball to the new vacant lot down the street. Having done both, I don't really know which I prefer - but I guess I would lean towards the latter. More "doing the stuff" and less standing around talking about the stuff.

So, what is the point today, Jeff? I don't know. These are just a few items that have been rolling around (no pun intended) in my head. If you do have a ball, I'd encourage you to be more open minded about who you let play with it, or maybe get a few more balls and distribute them freely. Maybe you'll be surprised at what happens.

What to do... What to do...

Ever get a direction or a word from God that you weren't thrilled about? I am right in the middle of that right now. Last week - I was seeking hard. Today - this morning, I feel like I got an answer, but it wasn't the one I wanted. It wasn't Charlton Heston walking down the street with two stone tablets a la "The Ten Commandments", but it was that still small voice, a mere suggestion from my head. I'm not gonna post what that was because I need some confirmation. If you get that confirmation, feel free to post.

Some of you folks that read this are thinking - Hughes is a nut job - He's hearing voices... This post isn't for you. I still love you, will still drink a beer with you, but this one's not for you. Anyway, it's 9 p.m. Sunday night, and that is where I am at.

J

Trusting God again...

If you are one of those people who enjoys roller coaster rides and skydiving, then this post is not for you. Looking back over the last few years I see mountaintops and valleys. I usually rode roller coasters when I was a kid only after being pressured into it by my friends. They made me sick, and weren't a lot of fun - Likewise with living in the middle of a roller coaster ride. I’m not going to get into all the ugly specifics, but those who know me know exactly what I am talking about.

In life, we have relationships with people, and sometimes, trust in those relationships gets strained. Sometimes, it is broken, other times, it feels like trust is obliterated. I have counseled people over the years that people are flawed, and that we have to forgive and move on, and eventually, we’ll trust again.
But what if you realize that the person that you don’t trust is God? I came face to face with this reality the other night. The main problem in my spiritual life right now is that I simply don’t trust God. I was in denial of this for a while… I realized – I love God, I just don’t trust Him. There is a difference. I look back at a point where I did put all my trust in God. That ended very badly. I was reminded of another story in the Bible where ministry ended badly –

Then Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, each took his censer and put fire in it, put incense on it, and offered profane fire before the Lord, which He had not commanded them. 2 So fire went out from the Lord and devoured them, and they died before the Lord. 3 And Moses said to Aaron, "This is what the Lord spoke, saying: 'By those who come near Me I must be regarded as holy; And before all the people I must be glorified.' " So Aaron held his peace. (Lev. 10:1-4)

People have told me – “You just need to get over it.” I wish I could. It would be much easier for me if I could. I wish I could throw a light switch, or click my heels together, and have it all be good. I see that Aaron just “got over it”. I guess I’m not anywhere near that kind of guy. In the past few years, I’ve given a lot of forgiveness and received some from all the bad times. The further I go down this trail the more questions I have – Did I miss His calling before? Did I mess up? Did I pull a Nadab or an Abihu, and just lucky that I wasn’t struck down dead? Am I now just a permanently disabled member of the body of Christ? If so, somebody please sign me up for my pension.

The writer of Hebrews (and I don’t want to get into who I think that is) says - It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. I am terrified. I see two sides to God in the Bible - Loving, accepting, welcoming, and good. The other is angry, wrathful, and just. In my life, I have seen both sides. As I survey the situation though, I am kind of stuck. While a good number of hurts have healed or at least scabbed over, I am not going anywhere until I get this back on course. So, for at least the time being – I gotta wait. What am I waiting for? For everything to be cool, and me trust God again. How do you get there, Jeff? I have no clue, and I haven’t got a whole lot of advice on how to do it. Just a lot of people telling me I need to do it. So, please refrain from jumping on the “dude, that sucks, bandwagon…” It has approached it’s load limit for me.