Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something that we all desire. We all wrong other people, and they, in turn wrong us. We tell our kids to “forgive and forget”, but is that really Biblical? I can find many places where we are called to forgive, but I can’t find anywhere in scripture where we are to forget. We are actually commanded to forgive one another in verses like Matthew 6:14 - “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”, and Ephesians 4:32 – “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Ultimately, forgiveness is a decision of our will. Since God commands me to do it, I have to do it, even if I don’t especially feel like doing it at the time. Those that have offended us may not ever seek reconciliation, and may not ever change. Still, that command is there. It’s disheartening, I know. I really, really, do. I know some folks are going to pull up a few verses, and tell me that God forgives our sins as far as the East is from the West, and that our sins are like cast into the deepest part of the sea, which is the Mariana Trench, off the coast of Guam, by the way. It’s 6.85 miles deep below the sea level at the deepest part. The government has actually considered dumping nuclear waste there, since it’s a subduction zone, and it will be destroyed in the process and get turned into lava, which would be a cool analogue, but that’s banned by UN Treaty.

OK, so you’re telling me that the omnipotent God of the universe hits the delete key whenever I sin and get forgiveness? Or is it more like a SQL query – DELETE FROM “Jeff’s Life” WHERE Action=”sin” in DB “humanity”? That is hard for me as an educated person to swallow. I think God doesn’t magically delete it. It is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us. We cannot selectively delete events from our memory. I wish that I could, people have struggled with this for ages. John F. Kennedy once said “Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.” I think that God created us in His image, and if He didn’t build in a “delete” key for all the hurts that need forgiving, then He likely doesn’t have one either. God gave me a brain with memories, and I don’t have a built-in delimiter to separate the good events from the horrible ones. So, do I think that God remembers our sins? Yes. Think of the theological consequences if He didn’t… What would be in the Book that is brought out at the throne of judgment in Revelation if our sins got deleted? Does God have an angel that doesn’t forget? If He really forgets, is that why He writes it down like a grocery list in the Book? Is that really forgetting if it’s written down? Those are the questions that spring from my mind at first pass at that notion.

As human beings, we tend to minimize our own errors and maximize others. We like to rally others to our cause, and turn others against the person who has wronged us. We want to keep the offender roasting a while in the fires of our anger and indignation. As Christians, we are instructed and I’ll even venture to say programmed to never refuse forgiveness, but we sure don’t mind making the offender uncomfortable first. Is that right? Is that biblical? No. Is it human, most certainly. One of the most helpful things I ever heard in this regard is to tell “the story” from the other person’s perspective. Actually imagine that you are the other person and use the word “I” when saying what that person would say. You, most likely don’t know all the events involved and don’t know exactly what they were thinking at the time, but it is important for you to try.

So, here we are again – what’s the point, Jeff? We are commanded to forgive. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It means being vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future. I think it isn’t possible for us to forget. That’s what tortures us. It’s one of the “crosses we bear” as we trudge through this life. I’m going to keep on trudging.